C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
