The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
