the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
