i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
