White coat. Heels.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
