I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
