Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
