who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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