i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
