is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize