Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
