He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
