I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
