I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
