your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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