good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
