I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
