I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize