well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize