I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
