just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize