accomplished twins. life is a go
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
