Me too!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
