I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
