I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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