It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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