Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
