ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize