why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
