He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
