I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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