best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
