When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
