You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
