i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
