And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
