I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
