to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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