Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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