They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
