even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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