someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
