i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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