at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
