I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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