Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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