Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sober January is a disaster.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize