office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
