they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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