We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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