There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
