Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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