I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
