we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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