The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
