don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize