He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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