I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
