Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
