Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
