all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
