I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
