It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
