I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
