Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
