she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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