are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
not ubering you a puppy
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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