I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
